It’s Probably Not About You
At Art Soul and Horses, Inc every session begins with a safety discussion focused on
understanding and respecting horse communication. Let’s face it-hanging out with a 1,300 lb animal can be rather daunting! But by learning how horses express themselves and paying attention to our own energy, we can ensure a safe and enriching experience. Horses’ communication style is very clear and concise, especially once you spend time with them and see how they interact with each other. Just like people, horses each have their own personalities and temperaments, making it fascinating to get to know them and, in turn, discover more about ourselves. Importantly, there’s no right or wrong when it comes to personality or temperament; it’s simply an opportunity to learn more about how we navigate relationships—with ourselves and others.
Our horse Mama is very much an extrovert, with a strong, bold style of communication. But she also has a lovely soft side that is mothering and nurturing. Some of her personality traits can be attributed to her beginnings in life. When I first met her in 2015, she had been raised without much nurturing, with only her basic needs met. She very easily could have been not interested in human contact but it’s quite the opposite. Despite her upbringing, she’s incredibly open to human connection, thriving on attention, grooming, and comfort—and she doesn’t appreciate others stepping into her space.
In contrast, my other horse, Luca, is more of an introvert. She is gentle with people, rarely pins her ears, and will even offer a “hug” when she feels close to someone. Her basic needs have always been met- she feels safe and secure most of the time and it’s pretty awesome. Like people, each horse has their own way of moving through the world. Spending time with them reveals their unique communication styles. Mama, for instance, naturally takes on a dominant role, claiming the spotlight, while Luca recognizes her place and steps back whenever Mama approaches. The interaction between the two can be very graceful or it can be very sharp and sudden. Most importantly if the communication is harsh, it’s over with immediately and they go right back to being best friends.
Why am I telling you all this? The other day, of our clients was at the door spending time with Mama when all of a sudden, Mama started pinning her ears flat against her head, seemingly ready to strike out. The client was a bit startled and I could tell immediately that she thought that Mama was angry with her so I stepped in to explain. Mama wasn’t upset with her at all—in fact, she was enjoying their quiet moment together. Instead, she was signaling Luca, who was nearby and encroaching on her space, to “back off.”
As I reassured the client, I explained that sometimes in life, when someone’s reaction seems harsh, it’s easy to assume it’s directed at us. We often can be triggered to thinking that we are doing something wrong when in fact, the other person is just simply having a difficult day. Breathe that sigh of relief and know that as we go out in the world aware of our own energy and temperament, it can help us navigate social interactions and not be so reactive.
Horses teach us so much about non-verbal communication and the importance of
understanding our own temperament. The world can be a big place and one of my fears is that we are losing connection due to time spent isolated on social media. Horses have a unique way of leading us back to our shared humanity and the beauty of genuine connection. By learning from them and building the skills to recognize and regulate our energy, we can face difficult situations with empathy and patience. Truly, this can be helpful not only with our friends and social interactions but also with family members who may irritate us and make us feel uncomfortable.
Grateful for the horses who teach me every single day.
In Peace – Vivian
If you are interested in learning more about Temperament Types you can go to
https://www.truity.com/test/type-finder-personality-test-new