Article By Alison Breen
“A few rare individuals refuse to have limited lives. They drive through tremendous amounts of pain—from rejections and failures to shorter moments of embarrassment and anxiety. Because they avoid nothing, they can pursue their highest aspirations. They seem more alive than the rest of us.” ~Phil Stutz and Barry Michels
If you were to see me in a social situation, you’d think that I’m confident.
And in most informal social settings, I am. Now.
I love people, love hearing their stories, so most of the time I trust my ability to relate and connect.
But this wasn’t always the case.
These were skills I had to re-learn.
During adolescence, probably as a result of my parents’ divorce and going to a new school where I felt completely out of my depth, I lost my natural childhood confidence.
Approaching new people felt very hard.
I would often spend break times at school pretending to be busy doing work, to avoid the shame of having to go up to a group and ask whether I could sit with them and face the potential humiliation of being told no.
It was a very lonely time.
For most of my high school career I avoided reaching out unless I was pretty certain of a favorable response.
Then I left school and took a gap year and needed to make money, so I started a job waiting tables.
I was perfectly capable of upgrading to waiting tables after the mandatory month of training (when I was responsible for clearing plates and setting tables but didn’t have to engage much with customers). But I was so afraid of the having to approach people and the deal with the uncertainty of how they would respond to me that I declined and continued to train for another two months.
Eventually it got ridiculous and I had to take the risk.
I can still remember my first few months waitressing.
I was terrified to approach new people and initially would try to …Read entire article here: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/overcoming-fear-stands-between-you-and-your-dreams/